I am a single mother who is BOLDLY living by grace & I am so happy I am free to be all God has called me to be! As we go on this journey together, I would like to be genuine, unrestricted, and very straightforward. I will endeavor to show that some of the things you may be enduring, you're not enduring alone. On this particular day, that I am going to tell you all about I was having a rough day, and I always find it therapeutic to write down my thoughts, so here it goes...
As a single mother, we sometimes find ourselves feeling very alone, but if we are all honest, we all experience rough days. Today has been utterly rough on me; as a single mom, it is days like this that are always the hardest. Sometimes I feel like I've failed at everything in life. I mean everything that has been in my care, especially as a mom, and the tears won't stop. On a good day, I think I'm doing great with the cards I've been dealt, but there is always this thought in the back of my head asking, am I living a lie? I'm so frustrated, and the smallest of things have just made me cry. My kids haven't been listening, and as a single parent, I'm always the bad guy. I am the disciplinarian and the comforter all in one. Most of our days are filled with fun, but sometimes they are filled with sorrow. The truth hurts, but it shall also set you free! As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. So on days like this, I have to encourage myself to push through. Perseverance and patience is the key because I know there has to be more to life, and this cannot be the end.
While I know that I am not the only one who experiences trials and tribulations, it often feels like it's just me! I find my strength to go on from those around me who love me. My circle that includes God, close friends, and family is pretty strong, and when I can't encourage myself, they are there to assist and help me along. In 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, it states But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong...I always remember WHEN I AM WEAK; THEN I AM STRONG!!!!! So when I need to vent or cry, and I feel like I can't go on, I always have them in my corner, cheering me on.
So I say to you, find those people who want the best for you and who want to see you succeed, then show yourself friendly and be the same friend for them. Amid your storm, it is nothing like having God, your family, friends, and positive relationships that can help you navigate your way through. BUT but but! ( you probably said dang that's a lot of buts, but I wanted to place a lot of emphasis on it) Don't get me wrong; you also have to ENCOURAGE yourself. One scripture (Psalms 43:5 ) I find that I frequently recite to myself is why so downcast o my soul put your hope in God. I believe life and death are in the power of the tongue, so I have to tell myself you've got this; snap out of it, Breezy! You're doing great (because I am), and you have so many people in your corner who don't want to see you fail.
I can not stress enough for you to find your circle of loved ones that works for you, because had it not been for mine, I'm not sure where I would be today. I've been able to go to school full time as I finish my bachelor's degree, work fulltime as a school employee, and still be a mommy to two young, energetic, and athletic boys. My days are long; in fact, this past year Newman University and the Farha gym have been my second home, but I know that while I'm on this journey that I am not alone, and I wouldn't trade one minute of it because it has made me strong.
We do not give ourselves enough credit, and I think as single mothers or parents, in general, we are harder on ourselves than what we realize. Too many times do we neglect that we are human, and we are doing the best we can. So hang in there, and don't give up; it's just one of those rough days that we all have. I am a living testimony that through the good, the bad, and the ugly, you can make it through, so now it's my mission to encourage you.
Until next time with love, grace, and a happy Face