Hey, B.F.F.’s! Happy Sunday! We know that it has been a while since you’ve heard from Brittany and I. Our lives have been busy this past couple of weeks, but trust we’ve missed you all.
Today I am going to endeavor to be transparent with you all, and this week I’m going to talk about this rollercoaster of emotions I’ve experienced while attempting to become a teacher. These past few months I’ve dealt with a lot of emotions; in fact, some days I’ve been an emotional wreck.
Physically, mentally, and emotionally I’ve been a mess. Life gets overwhelming, and it’s hard to stay away from the darkness! That darkness that so many of us know as depression, but I’m here to tell you it gets better! There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but you have to surrender to God and trust that he will be the lifter of your head. He has not left the throne, and he will always provide. God is so intentional, and everything that we have ever gone through was/is for a reason. Our plans are not always God’s plans, but He is always right on time. As kids, I’m sure you all can relate; we have this idea of what our lives will look like by a certain age, but again, sometimes our plans are not God’s plans. Last Sunday, I turned 31, and I am genuinely grateful to have made it to see 31 because someone somewhere didn’t make it to see this year, but I am blessed to be able to have done so.
For the last 10 + years, I have been a para-educator in two different settings, and I am currently working on finishing my Bachelor’s degree to become an elementary school teacher. During my last semester in school, I read an article that could have deterred me from this profession. This article mentioned why so many teachers are leaving the profession that I am eagerly endeavoring to enter for more reasons than one, but ultimately because we have a very broken public education system. As I read through this article, it somewhat really made me feel sad. I also felt disgusted, and like I could relate to a lot of what they were saying, and I’m not even a certified teacher yet! My heart desires to teach, and however, I couldn’t help but wonder, am I going to end up like this. While I know that being a teacher is a gratifying job, it still has its ups and downs.
Honestly working in the education field for so long, I know first hand being a teacher is a very tedious job and requires countless amounts of working overtime. Teachers are underpaid and overworked; sadly, it’s just a harsh reality that we must not turn a blind eye to. When I first decided that I wanted to be a teacher, it was because I genuinely love children. I love putting smiles on their faces and being able to be someone who can make a difference in their life. I’m about 95% sure these teachers who are now quitting once felt that way as well. I know that they didn’t start this profession because of the salary or the mere fact that they believed every day would be perfect or easy. However, they also didn’t expect the unfortunate conditions they were working in to go from bad to worse. I can’t say that things will get better, but what I can say is that I’m willing to give it a try. I have high hopes that the conditions will improve for all educators, and I am very eager to continue down the path of making a difference in the lives of children every day. Will it be easy? No! But it will be worth it. I don’t fault these teachers who are tired and have quit. I get it, but I am running after my purpose, and I believe my purpose is that I am here to add value to someone else’s life, and that thought alone helps me get up in the morning, knowing that I am here for more than just myself. It is innate in me, a part of who I am, a TEACHER.
I say all of that to say I should have graduated this May, but because of financial reasons, I was unable to student teach this past semester. When I first found out that I would not attend school this semester, I was distraught. I’m not even going to lie; I was sad, frustrated, embarrassed and I felt like a failure. Plus I was overwhelmed with so many other emotions. I felt defeated, and I wanted to give up. I felt like I couldn’t win for losing, why was I working so hard for something that doesn’t seem like it’s meant to be? The answer is because I know in my heart that teaching is what I am supposed to be doing. So again, why are things not falling into place for me if this is my purpose? I honestly thought before this birthday that I would have been graduated and preparing to teach in my own classroom, but these financial obligations have prevented me from doing so. This journey has really been a test of my faith. I had to fully let go and trust God and then this happened. In the second week of June, just a few weeks before my birthday, I received a text from two of my classmates Nicole Sullivan and Maddie Sherman. This text was a total surprise letting me know that they had created a go fund me to help me and unbeknownst to me they had my children and me on their mind. This gesture made my heart smile. The mere fact that they thought about me and the financial obstacles preventing me from being a certified teacher spoke volumes about our friendship. Maddie recently graduated in May, and Niccole is in the same boat as me with student teaching, yet she thought about me, which speaks to the heart she has for others.
Teaching is my passion, and as a single mother that not only works full time but attends school full time, this hasn’t been an easy task. Continuing my education is vital because I strive to set an exemplary example for my children. No matter what kind of obstacles life throws at you, anything is possible. My children have watched me day in and day out work hard to finish this degree. Being a single mother of two young boys, I am the constant example of dedication/determination that they see regularly. They see me sit at the table and do homework; no matter how tired I am, sometimes I even miss their sports events and practices,’ and if I can attend, I am doing homework while attending these practices. I make a way to get it done — and will continue making many other sacrifices while I finish this degree. I believe that your purpose requires sacrifice from people you love and that anything you value will cost you something. It may be your time that you sacrifice in order to become great at what you do, but ultimately, you have to choose if it is worth it. In life, we always have a choice, and what we do with our life is our decision. I believe where there is a will, there is a way. So I choose to teach! As a teacher, I will set the platform, equip, and teach students the necessary skills and morals to succeed in a learning environment and life. I know that I can and will be a great asset to the body of teachers in the world. Teaching is my purpose! It is the reason I was created, and by the grace of God and determination, I’ve completed all the required courses I need up to this point. While at Newman, I have maintained a 3.5 GPA or higher, and I am very eager to continue making a difference in the lives of children every day. So keep me in your prayers! Thank you to all who have donated and sowed into my future. It is my prayer that the next time I update you all on this I will be enrolled and believing God to continue to make a way!
Until next time with love, grace and a happy face, we pray that you are living a bold, free, and faithfully life in Christ.